Brandon Lee Paradise

I can't believe how happy he makes me...
his touch...voice..smile... everything is so intriguing...
have you ever been in love like this?
too fall in love at first sight and kiss is...
...so beautiful...
everytime we speak, it feels like the first time...
from the first time we met, to last night...
this person means more to me than anyone ever will...
i don't know why, but no one can make me feel....
...so beautiful...
i thank god because he must be heaven sent....
angels sing, butterflies dance, when he's present...
For this person to bring such happiness...
why keep searching? when no one can top this? it's...
...so beautiful...
my other half... whatever he feels... so do i...
my heart skips beats looking into his eyes...
as hard as i tried not to fall in love again...
he came and my heart was his to mend...
... this is so beautiful...
to my love, my best friend, brother, everything, and future father of my kids...
i end this note, with such gratitude and a sweet, simple kiss...
» 143 Greg «

I've made up my mind. I'm deffinately going to move out as soon as I turn 18. I'm going to move in with my Fiancé to Florida. We've already talked about this so I already know what I'm going to do. I know It's going to be a huge struggle but I know if we have each other, that we will overcome anything. I already know how it feels to go to school and work at the same time, so I know how hard it is to juggle those two things at once. I know it's going to take a lot of time, and money but.. I already started saving up for that. I have one year, and 2 months before I turn 18 to save up. I don't really think I'm going to miss this much. I'm tired of seein the same damn niggas, and seein all my guys gettin killed. I don't want to live here no more. I just want to be with Greg, nice and happy in our own place. It will be my last year of high school there, and he will be in college, getting his future together. I know we can make it if we try hard enough, and i'm more than willing to make all the sacrifices needed to make this work. I don't want to live with my mother, father, brother and sister anymore. Although pregnancy is a beautiful thing, my sister is the biggest, bitchiest asshole in this universe. I never someone can be so evil to someone. I hate that they use her pregnancy as a justification for her way of mistreating people, and me in particular. all i say is fuck that! you've been this way since i was coming up in life, so you mean to tell me you've been pregnant forever? I hate her with such a passion, and as much as it hurts for me to say, I don't care what happens to her, because she doesn't care about me. My parents... God where do I begin? They don't let me do anything. They think they're protecting me when in fact, they're making me loathe them. My brother fat ass girlfriend... my god. Everytime she calls (every 2.67 minutes) i feel like losing my religion on the damn phone. i feel like saying.. damn, you see him every fuckin day, you're not married, or engaged, and you still call him every fuckin second of your life?! damn bitch calm the fuck down! that's exactly what i'm going to do... the day before i move. because she is getting on my fuckin nerves with that shit. i'm engaged, and i don't stalk my fiancé like that... damn...

anyway....

the decision has been made - i'm moving out!

> mrs. ray

Have you ever felt like.... someone couldn't get meaner? I don't understand why people are so cruel and can say such hurtful things to someone who pretty much doesn't say but two words to them. i can't believe how she can just make me feel so small at times. i'm not an easy person to make break down, but she's had practice. how can she sleep at night knowing how much her words and actions hurt me? sometimes i ask if she knows what she's doing... if she tries, and goes out of her way to make me feel like shit. like i would never amount to anything, and be nothing but someone beneath her. she's like a shadow.. everytime i think i've her figured out, and try to catch her, she fools me and always seems to be bigger than me.. when in reality.. we are equal and come from the same source.... i don't understand it. how can someone i love so much, hate me this much? i can't believe i wanted to be like her. in her foot steps.. i'd follow. but now, i resent her. of course i still love her, but as soon as i can, i want to be as far from her as possible. am i stupid? for continuing to respect, and love this person who doesn't do the same for me? i just wish she could see how she effects people.. how can she call herself my sister?

i pray..
that one day..
she will see..
how much power her words carry..
i pray..

> mrs ray

yep! i'm back (lolz) i used to have a blog on here with the name intrigued but, i decided to delete it and keep the layout. i don't really have too much time to make another layout and do all the html for it too. it's too much of a hassle, so you're just going to have to deal with this one lol okie! that's pretty much it!